So I've said this before that I'm a daddy's girl and I'm very proud of it.even when we bump heads. but this whole weekend my mother has been so supportive and I never knew that she would be like this for me. I know my mother loves me and is supportive but.....this time I just feel closer to her. I guess this is the part when the daughter starts to appreciate her mother after all the years of fighting and tears.
Sorry for the short posts.my mind is racing too fast for my fingers and it feels like I don't have much to say.
3.29.2010
3.24.2010
before you walk out my life
"Here we are face to face.
with memories that can't be erased
although we need each other
things have changed
it's not the same.
Sometimes it makes me wonder
where would I would I be
if you hadn't discovered which i did
Inside of me I know that there was something
that we could compare."
history
I remember the first time I told my daddy about you.(and so does he)
remember when we first met. (so Cliche)lol
remember when we were talking on aol instant msging and you asked for my number
remember when we first started talking and on you're 15th birthday,because I'm so shy, I didnt speak to you. so that night you told me i owed you and I stayed on the phone with you from 11 at night to 4 in the morning.
remember when you didnt have a cell phone and we talked on the house phone all the time.and when you finally got one i was like "why'd you have to get a number similar to mine?"lol.
remember when we went to the movies the first time.it was our first date and we "saw" casino royale ;)
remember when i first txtd you "i wuv you" after 8 months of talking and you were like " well i love you if that's what you're trying to say." and from then on it was "i love you" everyday :)
remember when we first kissed.and that feeling....aaahh
remember when you gave me that diamond necklace for our first christmas.
remember when I bout you ANOTHER yankees hat.
remember our first valentines day :)
but remember it was the first time you hurt me :( but that same night I was so in love that I forgave you.
rememeber when you first met my parents.hmmm cus I really dont.
remember when it was your 16th birthday I'm very sure and you wanted to hang with me but your cousins decided to come over too and you were PISSED.
remember all the times when you would call me and yell " I LOVE YOU" and then hang up.
remember when we couldn't go in your room.now that's the only place we go.
remember when it happened again :( and this time it took me longer to forgive you. but I couldn't help but take you back.
remember November 18, 2007
remember the first time we......lol I remember the whole setting of that night.
remember when this time it was my turn and I didn't know what to do with myself.
remember when you called me with your coach and the phone cus he was so happy you verbally commited
remember when we went to prom last year.
remember when you graduated and I didnt know what I would do without you.
remember this past summer when everything is almost perfect but we were slowing falling apart.
remember all the littles fights
remember the long nights
remember the day before I started school and we were no more. I sped home walked in the door and my parents were in the kitchen and I cried out "we broke up" and ran to my room.
remember when the truth came out and you hated me. what was I thinking.
that's when it all stopped and I knew you were DEFINITELY the one.after three years.
most of all.
remember that we have history.
remember that we've never fully learned to let go of each other.
remember that no matter how much we hurt and cry we love so much harder over anything else.
remember that you're my superman :)
remember that you're my first love
remember that you have my heart.
remember that I love you.
remember when we first met. (so Cliche)lol
remember when we were talking on aol instant msging and you asked for my number
remember when we first started talking and on you're 15th birthday,because I'm so shy, I didnt speak to you. so that night you told me i owed you and I stayed on the phone with you from 11 at night to 4 in the morning.
remember when you didnt have a cell phone and we talked on the house phone all the time.and when you finally got one i was like "why'd you have to get a number similar to mine?"lol.
remember when we went to the movies the first time.it was our first date and we "saw" casino royale ;)
remember when i first txtd you "i wuv you" after 8 months of talking and you were like " well i love you if that's what you're trying to say." and from then on it was "i love you" everyday :)
remember when we first kissed.and that feeling....aaahh
remember when you gave me that diamond necklace for our first christmas.
remember when I bout you ANOTHER yankees hat.
remember our first valentines day :)
but remember it was the first time you hurt me :( but that same night I was so in love that I forgave you.
rememeber when you first met my parents.hmmm cus I really dont.
remember when it was your 16th birthday I'm very sure and you wanted to hang with me but your cousins decided to come over too and you were PISSED.
remember all the times when you would call me and yell " I LOVE YOU" and then hang up.
remember when we couldn't go in your room.now that's the only place we go.
remember when it happened again :( and this time it took me longer to forgive you. but I couldn't help but take you back.
remember November 18, 2007
remember the first time we......lol I remember the whole setting of that night.
remember when this time it was my turn and I didn't know what to do with myself.
remember when you called me with your coach and the phone cus he was so happy you verbally commited
remember when we went to prom last year.
remember when you graduated and I didnt know what I would do without you.
remember this past summer when everything is almost perfect but we were slowing falling apart.
remember all the littles fights
remember the long nights
remember the day before I started school and we were no more. I sped home walked in the door and my parents were in the kitchen and I cried out "we broke up" and ran to my room.
remember when the truth came out and you hated me. what was I thinking.
that's when it all stopped and I knew you were DEFINITELY the one.after three years.
most of all.
remember that we have history.
remember that we've never fully learned to let go of each other.
remember that no matter how much we hurt and cry we love so much harder over anything else.
remember that you're my superman :)
remember that you're my first love
remember that you have my heart.
remember that I love you.
3.17.2010
prom
ok well maybe not stressful.na not the right word.
but it shouldnt be such a task just to think of the cutest and fun guy to take. *oh sigh* and I've been looking for a dress but dpt stores in Nashville are booty. So i'll just wait until I hit up NY in april (the weekend before prom) haha.
these have potential. i love the whole babydoll style. but im not quite sure about the poofy-ness.
and then for this one.i love the colors...eehh the dress is ok. I wish the back had a bit more spice to it.
i have decisions to make.im sooo picky.blah.
3.15.2010
3.10.2010
rain drops keep falling on my head
my favorite!!
So it's spring time and that means it's rainy season and I really want some rainboots. Everybody has them but I want these :) they're soooo kute.
3.03.2010
so you know how you meet a new guy and like yall are on the "questions" stage of talking and the one question I get and always expect to get is..."what kind of guys do you like? or what do you look for in a guy?" aaahhh oh boy.
well to anwser the question...i like boys. not all and yes I can be picky but damn everybody got preferences I probably have more than others but oh well. but physically you (the boy) HAVE to be taller than me and not just like a inch taller than me, significantly taller than me. I'm kinda tall or so some people may say so and I like wearing heels so you put the two together and a short lil dude. ugh. how that look? no deal. plus i feel like tall and big or semi big guys, as in muscles not fat i have a huge fat-a-phobia and its bad so no fat dudes sorry, are the ones i feel "safe" around. and give the best hugs because they just hold you while you like suffocate in their arms. mmm ok leme stop. next.
ugh do looks matter? well duh!! hell everybody be like nah personality over looks.nah boo i bet you would not be walking round wit a negro that aint cute to you. so yes he has to be cute and carmel well not have to be but a good milk chocolate is just mmm mmm good to me. I LOVE smiles. aaahhh they make me melt. i wont go into detail but just know that "pannie droppa" smiles are a ++++ :)
pretty boy vs. thugs.
i honestly like them both. not even joking. but I wouldn't date a thug only lust over him. but I do not like the pretty boys that are waaaaaaay tooo sweet. ugh. I need somebody thats rough round the edges and put me in my place sometimes. not aggressive just...ugh iono the word.lol but yea.
and I really cant think of anything else but those are like the most haves when i first look at a guy.
personality: I love a guy who can keep me laughing but what girl doesnt.rite? but I like the corny crap. it makes me laugh at how cute the guy is trying to be. i love it. haha. and since I can be they shiest girl ever if i REALLY like you then I love guys who can just talk talk talk that gets me going and we can have a convo all damn day. believe that. and i dont like the usual convos like: "hey. wats up. how you doin. wat u doing. NO i hate those because they end like.....4 mins later. lets talk bout the most random thing you're thinking.tell me a joke. ask a question. make a face in the text message. because if you say wats good to me I will probably just put my phone down and wait for the next guy to entertain me. call me a bish but i'd have to disagree you're just boring and he isn't. but anywho...i like loyal and honest.PLEASE be real with me and let me know wat u thinking. i hate not knowing. so just tell me whatever it is. i dont mess with alot of people and for you to go off and lie to me is a NO NO. because you WILL get cut. I like anybody that can put up with my flaws. and can put up with my weirdness. because like i said im really shy at first but once you get to know me its way different.I want to know that you're going somewhere with your life, like you actually want to be successful and you're putting you're words into action. if you want to be something so BE IT, just dont sit around dreaming and waiting on your ticket to heaven. aint gone happen buddy! gotta earn that shit.
man this is alot. (and my fingers are getting tired I have a paper to write) but maybe i am too picky but whatever i like it this way :)
BFF
when it comes to question of who is my best friend.
I can truly say that I have two that are ALWAYS there for me.
Jalen and akilah are like my right hands.and whenever something is wrong or i have to tell them something right away they're always there.it creeps me out!lol not really i love it though. I do have one other friend that is ALWAYS there for me but i wudnt say we're best friends.we just hella tight,real good homies and nothing more or less. and all the other people i love to death but these two are the ones that know me the best. but anyway this past yr i lost one of my reeeeeeaaaalll good friends over some petty shit now that I look back on it and think about it. Actually it crosses my mind more often then when it first happened. but anyway she was like my left booty cheek.haha.no but im dead serious we spent like the whole entire summer together and we talked bout EVERYTHING and did EVERYTHING together and when we stopped talking I got lonely.ha. that's when I was reminded of how good of friends we were.
if i could take back time I'd take back the way I talked to her. I would've been more understanding. but hey i can't take back time I can just move on from now. I hope that we can pick things back up. maybe not where we ended but def shake it like the good ole days.
smh. damn vannah....aye ya live and ya learn shawty.
i just believe that all the mistakes i've made are truly motivating me to be a better person. real shit.
3.02.2010
patiently waiting
ok sooo maybe I am waiting for you but my plan is that you never find out that i am waiting. I hope you never find out that every time my phone vibrates in class, I close my eyes and say "please let this be him" until I run out of breath.and when I look and its not you....im bummed!
see it's apart of the "game" I cant look too needy because I'm afraid you will think im too clingy and thats NOT ME at all. it's just that I really LOVE talking to you. if I deleted all the other contacts in my phone, besides mama and daddy lol, I wouldn't care because just when we're texting I feel like it's just me and you. call me weird but im oh so serious.I enjoy your comapany :) so since im waiting and you might be waiting too, i'm just gonna wait and see how long you can go for. especially when you KNOW I HATE THIS :) it's what i like you do all the lil things that you know bother but some how i love that. something is seriously wrong with me.
so of course in the mean time i'll just keep waiting. or I'll just text you tomorrow.
djfiajfiofdgjig;j aaaahhhh breath and act like it aint nuin savannah....
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